Do you wish to be happier? Start by treating yourself well. This may seem obvious, but far too many individuals skimp over it and attempt to make themselves happy by pursuing higher objectives or imposing ever-higher standards of perfection on themselves. You might need to learn, how to be happy with yourself.
Ironically, being nice to yourself will bring you closer to your lofty goals, according to Daylle Deanna Schwartz, speaker and author of 15 books including “The Effortless Entrepreneur.” She says that the more you respect yourself at work, especially in terms of effort put in, the greater your self-confidence grows.
The most satisfied individuals go out of their way to pamper themselves and do something nice for themselves each day. They establish healthy limits and care for themselves by saying no to things when they need to. “When you love yourself, you understand that saying no to something you don’t want to do is an act of kindness, and you don’t walk around with negative feelings toward the person who asked you to do something you didn’t want to do,” Schwartz says.
Being considerate to yourself is beneficial not only for your professional life, but also for your personal relationships, according on experts. “The more you develop self-love, the more you have to give to others.”
Here are 11 kind acts that grateful people perform for themselves—and so should you:
1. Commit to doing one nice thing for yourself every day.
Schwartz encourages website visitors to sign a 31-day “pledge to do my best to do something kind for myself, however big or little it may be.” Making the commitment implies you’ll remind yourself on a daily basis to give yourself with loving care.
One of the most important things you can do for yourself is maintain your commitment. She adds, “It encourages you to take better care of yourself, pursue your goals, and avoid being treated badly by others.”
2. Listen to yourself.
The inner tone of voice you employ while speaking to yourself is also significant. (Mine tends to be in a teaching mode.) “We often criticize ourselves in our own heads and that brings down our confidence,” Schwartz says. “When you love yourself, you know you’re good enough that you have to stop talking to yourself in negative terms.”
3. Forgive yourself.
“Forgiveness is a big part of it,” adds Schwartz. “It’s difficult because, for the most part, we’ve been getting angry at ourselves for all of our mistakes all throughout our lives. It’s one of the hardest parts about growing up: learning to accept yourself. Everyone makes mistakes and learns from them. But when someone is desperate for perfection, they end up beating themselves up because they weren’t perfect. Accepting oneself means you must be able to forgive yourself for your own shortcomings.”
“Look in the mirror and say, ‘I love you and I forgive you,’ ” Schwartz counsels.
4. Accept yourself as you are right now.
That means embracing the body you have now, regardless of how it looks. “Body image is a major stumbling block, and so is age,” she adds. “When you love yourself, you endeavor to be the greatest person possible in the body that you have, and that’s all there is.”
Dr. Alain discusses how to accept oneself fully in this interview with ForbesLife at Harvard Business School. She adds, “It’s OK not to be earning a certain amount by a certain age.” When people say, “Why are you wasting your time doing that?” or “You’re not successful enough,” entrepreneurs attract a lot of criticism.
Instead, she suggests posing a simple question: “Am I satisfied with what I’m currently doing?” When she discovered that her summer camp business was becoming too stressful, she sold it. “I wound up making less money but being happier.”
5. Eliminate toxic people in your life and workplace.
Avoid being tied to clients, business partners, investors, or staff members who make you unhappy. It’s clearly more difficult to take the same stance with family members, but there’s no need to put up with people saying or doing things that are hurtful. “If people say mean things to me, I let them know if they talk to me like that I’m going to walk away or hang up the phone,” she says.
6. Prioritize your health.
“I eat supplements and vitamins, I exercise, and recently I stopped eating sugar for seven weeks as an expression of self-love,” she adds. But be cautious: don’t let caring about your health lead to self-abusive behavior if you slip up. “I ate Twinkies the other day,” she explains. “I’ve been wanting them ever since they temporarily stopped selling them. So I bought some and I ate them. I don’t beat myself up when I have a treat.”
7. Stop skipping meals.
“People say, ‘I was so taken up with activities that I didn’t have time to eat today,’ ” says Schwartz. That’s a horrible thing to do to someone. Even if it’s just a salad, grab something.”
When your blood sugar drops, your brain receives stress messages. So, if you’re not able to stop and grab a meal, keep nutritious snacks on hand at your desk.
As Schwartz points out, breathing exercises that aren’t difficult to master can significantly boost your happiness quotient when you’re feeling stressed, overworked, or distressed. “If you do some deep breathing throughout the day to calm yourself down and avoid getting upset or sick,” he says.
9. Give yourself a welcoming space.
For years, Schwartz never made her bed. She simply draped the blankets over it for years. For a basic reason, she now makes it every day: “Entering my bedroom when my bed is made gives me a smile.”
She suggests taking the same attitude with your workstation. Make it as tidy as possible, she advises. Making progress in your job will make you feel more in control and calm, according to her. However, don’t restrict yourself to just decluttering. “Make sure you have your workstation and office area the way you want it,” she advises. “Take it seriously.”
10. Get some sunlight.
“A lot of people work in dark rooms,” says Schwartz. It’s extremely harmful and unloving to do so, according on her. Make an effort to work in a position where you can see natural light, she suggests. If that isn’t an option, invest in full-spectrum bulbs.
11. Buy premium products for yourself.
Do you fall into this category? If you’re delivering a bag of coffee to someone else, you choose a high-end brand in a nice package, but if you’re buying it for yourself, you go for the store brand or another low-cost alternative. That’s acceptable if all coffees taste the same to you.
“We spend money on others frequently, but we’re cheap with ourselves,” she adds. “Simply putting a few more dollars into the best brand every time you use it tells yourself that you’re worth more.”
In conclusion of being happy with yourself
Overall, it is important to be mindful of your own happiness and well-being. We often get so caught up in our work and daily lives that we forget to take care of ourselves. Make sure to schedule some “me time” into your day, even if it’s just for 10 minutes. Breathe, relax, and let go of any negative thoughts.